Health Notes

Obesity and The Link to Sexual Abuse

by admin on October 18, 2011

Sexual abuse is an unthinkable act.

Whether it happened once or over many years, sexual abuse victims become survivors after the incident. Survivors can still feel tremendous pain and shame as they heal.

Obesity and eating disorders often are found among adult survivors of sexual abuse, according to the Obesity Action Coalition. Survivors of abuse are looking for comfort, and food can provide that emotional comfort. In a sense, a person is literally ‘eating their feelings’ while avoiding the core issue.

Approximately 40 percent of obese women have been sexually abused at some point in their lives, according to “Objective Medical Information on Obesity, Weight Management and Eating Disorder.” While the connection has been established in women, there has not been sufficient data regarding a link between obesity in men and sexual abuse.

We don’t need statistics to prove the seriousness of sexual abuse, but the numbers shed light on how prevalent the issue is in our country. According to the Child Sex Abuse Prevention and Protection Center:

  • As many as one in three girls and one in seven boys will be sexually abused at some point in their childhood and teen years.
  • In a telephone survey conducted by Stop It Now!, 29 percent of women and 14 percent of men reported having been sexually abused as children.
  • Globally, approximately one in five women and one in 10 to 20 men report being sexually abused as children.

Patients at the Methodist Physicians Clinic Pelvic Pain and Sexual Medicine Center have explained their attraction to food as a means of self-sabotage.

By eating in excess, survivors keep people at a distance. The thought process for an adult survivor is “the more I eat, the more people won’t want to be near me – or touch me!”

What they don’t understand is that this simply leads to unwanted social judgment, which is followed by unwanted shame.

Survivors not only might have problems with food, but also often battle low self-esteem, and question their existence and self-worth.

How to overcome
First and foremost, a survivor has to reach a level of acceptance and come to the realization that she was not the cause of the abuse – she was the victim. By not accepting this as fact, the self-destruction will continue along with the obese lifestyle.

When working with clients, we work through a process:
1. Recognize the abuse wasn’t your fault.
2. Recognize you are a survivor.
3. Learn self-care techniques.
4. Confront those who are enabling your unhealthy behaviors.

Self-care techniques can include such things as:

  • Developing healthy eating habits.
  • Instituting an active lifestyle.
  • Establishing boundaries for unhealthy relationships and accepting healthy ones.
  • Improving your self-esteem and realizing you deserve to feel good about yourself.
  • Assessing relationships and letting go of those with unhealthy people.

While these are great ways to get survivors on their way, the work is not done. These are all components that will help a person physically, but much mental and emotional work is still needed.

And by that we mean therapy. We can’t stress enough the importance therapy can play in your healing and management of your weight issues.

As a survivor, you will find great benefit in attending therapy with a licensed therapist who is both knowledgeable and comfortable with sexual abuse issues. Some therapists are not equipped or comfortable themselves to deal with the emotional issues that can surface for a survivor, so this is crucial when seeking help.

Another source for healing can be group therapy sessions. Many communities have established women’s empowerment groups, groups related specifically to child abuse, adults molested as children or rape survivors.

If you are reading this and you have been a victim of sexual abuse, know that there is hope. Know that you are not alone, seek help from qualified providers, surround yourself with good relationships, but more importantly know and believe this was not your fault and that you can raise your hands in victory because you are a survivor!

Additional resources:
Losing Your Pounds of Pain by Doreen Virtue
We Are Adult Survivors of Child Abuse and Neglect
Stop It Now

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Communication Key with Cancer Journey

by admin on October 4, 2011

The National Cancer Institute estimates that approximately 11.7 million Americans with a history of cancer were alive in January 2007. That figure is up from an estimated 10.5 million in 2003.

Additional statistics show the five-year relative survival rate for all cancers diagnosed between 1999 and 2006 is 68 percent, up from 50 percent in 1975-1977.

These increases in survival can clearly be attributed to better efforts in diagnosing some cancers as well as improving quality of life for survivors.

While October is a month set aside for breast cancer awareness, we felt it was a good time to write about cancers in general and how they can impact a relationship.

If you are someone who has been diagnosed or are awaiting your results, your first thoughts are most likely about survival. Will I beat this? What are my odds? How will I beat it?

As soon as treatment begins, other questions surface. How “normal” can my life be after cancer? Will treatment have side effects? How will cancer affect my relationship and sex life?

All of these questions are normal and healthy to consider for both you and your partner.

Some of the most popular onco-sexology questions we encounter at the Methodist Physicians Clinic Pelvic Pain and Sexual Medicine Clinic are:

Q: Why have I lost interest in sex?
A: Fear, doubt, worry, anxiety and sadness can consume your thoughts with a cancer diagnosis. If you are having pain or feel tired and ill from you treatments, you may lose interest in sex. This is normal. Your feeling for sex should return after your cancer treatments end. If not, visit with a specialist in sexual medicine to explore other avenues

Q: Is it safe to have sex with my partner while taking chemotherapy?
A: Yes. However, a few studies suggest chemotherapy by-products may be present in semen. To protect your partner from these, you might consider using a condom.

Q: Is it safe to have sex with my partner while taking radiation treatment?
A: This depends on the type of radiotherapy you are receiving. The body is not radioactive after receiving radiation from an external source, such as a machine. If another type of radiotherapy is being used, ask your doctor and follow his/her advice.

Cancer and Your Partner:
With any cancer or serious illness your partner will often take on the role of caregiver. While some are rock stars in this role, not everyone is comfortable in such a capacity.

Your partner is a huge source of support, but be mindful of what they are experiencing along the diagnosis, treatment and recovery path.

They take on the additional tasks of parenting, home responsibilities, financial stress, additional work hours, yet they often have a general sense of helplessness toward your care. Some of those feelings of concern continue long after treatment,  with the added worry that cancer may return.

Communication during the entire process is vital. Be as honest with each other as you can about how you are feeling and what you are experiencing. Most likely, what you are both experiencing is very normal.

Unfortunately, it’s common to experience undesirable effects from cancer treatment. These concerns can be both indirectly and directly related to sexual function, such as:

  • Exhaustion
  • Hair loss
  • Weight loss or weight gain
  • Changes in muscle mass
  • Depression
  • Menopausal concerns in women
  • Hormonal changes that can cause fertility concerns, lower sexual desire and lubrication problems
  • Changes in sensation and orgasm abilities
  • Pain with intercourse

If your treatment has included surgery, such as mastectomy or reconstruction, the scaring itself can present problems between partners. While some may want to touch the scar – as an indication that “everything is OK” – the one bearing the scar may not feel the same.

Again, communication is crucial.

Communicate with your partner about:

  • changes in sensation
  • how your desires may be different
  • shifts in what you like and what no longer interests you
  • desire to be intimate without expectations for intercourse

Single Survivors

While we have primarily addressed those in relationships, much of what we are saying holds true for someone who is single and dealing with a cancer diagnosis or has proclaimed victory over cancer.

Communication. Communication. Communication.

  • Surround yourself with a solid support system of family, friends and other survivors.
  • Voice your needs – both physical and emotional.
  • Ask questions about side effects that could be detrimental to your sexual confidence and ask about options to preserve, prevent and minimize sexual concerns.

And remember, medical science is strong and survivors reclaim their lives more and more every day. As research is showing, the likelihood of you beating your cancer is very high. Once you reach the status of cancer survivor – celebrate your survivorship.

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Sexuality as You Age

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The Quick-Fix-It Sex Pill

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Body Image Issues Can Hurt Intimacy

August 23, 2011

Do you find yourself getting undressed in front of your partner in the dark? Does the thought of being touched by your partner send you into a panic? Then body image and confidence issues are likely playing a very big role in your life and that’s simply not healthy for your relationship, but more importantly, [...]

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Help Available for Low Desire

August 9, 2011

We saw a statistic recently in the Journal of Sexual Medicine that stated couples who engage in regular sexual activity experience such health benefits as living longer lives, a healthier heart, lower blood pressure and a decreased risk of breast cancer. Sadly, women – an estimated 33 percent – are not likely to reap those [...]

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Stresses of the Single Life

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We came across a great quote by Henry David Thoreau … “I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.” Being single may not be what they had planned for their lives, but for some people this quote might clearly describe their feelings about the dating circuit. In [...]

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Intimacy Advice for The Baseball Fan

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Staying Together Without Kids

June 28, 2011

DINK. Have you ever heard that term? Well in today’s society and according to Wikipedia, the term DINK (Double Income No Kids) is used to describe a high-earning couple who choose not to have children and are therefore able to afford a more expensive consumer lifestyle than those with families. The term became popular in [...]

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Time for Yourself, Partner and Children is Key

June 14, 2011

It’s summer time… The kids are home, their activities seem to have multiplied, you are trying to plan for a vacation and climb the corporate ladder. The summer months, well quite frankly, probably most months of the year we are sure you and your partner find yourselves coming and going. The last thing on your [...]

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