Sexual abuse is an unthinkable act.
Whether it happened once or over many years, sexual abuse victims become survivors after the incident. Survivors can still feel tremendous pain and shame as they heal.
Obesity and eating disorders often are found among adult survivors of sexual abuse, according to the Obesity Action Coalition. Survivors of abuse are looking for comfort, and food can provide that emotional comfort. In a sense, a person is literally ‘eating their feelings’ while avoiding the core issue.
Approximately 40 percent of obese women have been sexually abused at some point in their lives, according to “Objective Medical Information on Obesity, Weight Management and Eating Disorder.” While the connection has been established in women, there has not been sufficient data regarding a link between obesity in men and sexual abuse.
We don’t need statistics to prove the seriousness of sexual abuse, but the numbers shed light on how prevalent the issue is in our country. According to the Child Sex Abuse Prevention and Protection Center:
- As many as one in three girls and one in seven boys will be sexually abused at some point in their childhood and teen years.
- In a telephone survey conducted by Stop It Now!, 29 percent of women and 14 percent of men reported having been sexually abused as children.
- Globally, approximately one in five women and one in 10 to 20 men report being sexually abused as children.
Patients at the Methodist Physicians Clinic Pelvic Pain and Sexual Medicine Center have explained their attraction to food as a means of self-sabotage.
By eating in excess, survivors keep people at a distance. The thought process for an adult survivor is “the more I eat, the more people won’t want to be near me – or touch me!”
What they don’t understand is that this simply leads to unwanted social judgment, which is followed by unwanted shame.
Survivors not only might have problems with food, but also often battle low self-esteem, and question their existence and self-worth.
How to overcome
First and foremost, a survivor has to reach a level of acceptance and come to the realization that she was not the cause of the abuse – she was the victim. By not accepting this as fact, the self-destruction will continue along with the obese lifestyle.
When working with clients, we work through a process:
1. Recognize the abuse wasn’t your fault.
2. Recognize you are a survivor.
3. Learn self-care techniques.
4. Confront those who are enabling your unhealthy behaviors.
Self-care techniques can include such things as:
- Developing healthy eating habits.
- Instituting an active lifestyle.
- Establishing boundaries for unhealthy relationships and accepting healthy ones.
- Improving your self-esteem and realizing you deserve to feel good about yourself.
- Assessing relationships and letting go of those with unhealthy people.
While these are great ways to get survivors on their way, the work is not done. These are all components that will help a person physically, but much mental and emotional work is still needed.
And by that we mean therapy. We can’t stress enough the importance therapy can play in your healing and management of your weight issues.
As a survivor, you will find great benefit in attending therapy with a licensed therapist who is both knowledgeable and comfortable with sexual abuse issues. Some therapists are not equipped or comfortable themselves to deal with the emotional issues that can surface for a survivor, so this is crucial when seeking help.
Another source for healing can be group therapy sessions. Many communities have established women’s empowerment groups, groups related specifically to child abuse, adults molested as children or rape survivors.
If you are reading this and you have been a victim of sexual abuse, know that there is hope. Know that you are not alone, seek help from qualified providers, surround yourself with good relationships, but more importantly know and believe this was not your fault and that you can raise your hands in victory because you are a survivor!
Additional resources:
Losing Your Pounds of Pain by Doreen Virtue
We Are Adult Survivors of Child Abuse and Neglect
Stop It Now
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