It’s summer time…
The kids are home, their activities seem to have multiplied, you are trying to plan for a vacation and climb the corporate ladder.
The summer months, well quite frankly, probably most months of the year we are sure you and your partner find yourselves coming and going. The last thing on your mind or your schedule is trying to find time for each other.
But this is a MUST.
As a couple you must find time for each other, which is what we tell all couples we counsel at the Pelvic Pain and Sexual Medicine Clinic at the Methodist Physicians Clinic Women’s Center.
Time away from the kids is important to get you both out of your ‘parent head’ and into your relationship space. This can be especially difficult for women since society tells us to conquer everything all the time. However, it is possible to establish time for yourself, your children and your partner!
We recognize that this advice sounds great but the question is always how? How do you and your partner make it happen?
- Set a routine date night weekly or every other week. Omaha has so much to offer – visit a restaurant in the Old Market, Midtown, Village Pointe or Aksarben Village. Venture to small towns close by or enjoy the drive to Lincoln. Coupon books and discount-offer sites are a great way to be exposed to new places.
- Find something that interests you both and take a class together – dancing, drawing, golf, yoga. This will guarantee scheduled time together.
- If date nights seem impossible then arrange play dates or even a sleepover for your children. A play date with friends or a sleepover with grandparents or other relatives will provide you with the alone time, if even in small quantities, you need as a couple.
- Get organized to help prioritize. Establish a family calendar that outlines the kid’s schedules as well as date nights. Then your kids get the message that you are making time for each other too.
- Also, I encourage families to have a “system” and for the children to be included in the responsibilities. Having your kids do jobs around the house alleviates some stresses for you and your spouse as well as more time for the both of you together.
Now you have your date night or just a few hours alone – what do you do?
- Plan a movie and/or dinner night. Go see the hottest movie being shown or simply rent a movie and snuggle on the couch.
- Make your favorite meal together or be adventurous and cook something new and different.
- Not everything has to be romantic – go bowling, play miniature golf, or go ride go-karts.
- Take a long walk, sign up for a 5K together or go biking.
By now we think you get the idea. It’s not about what you are doing as much as it is that you are doing it together.
The relationship you have with your partner is the foundation for your family. If there are cracks in that foundation it’s going to show and those cracks will spread. If a relationship seems and is more grounded, then the children tend to be more grounded as well.
Seeing parents in a loving relationship provides great solitude and a peaceful place for children.
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