We saw a statistic recently in the Journal of Sexual Medicine that stated couples who engage in regular sexual activity experience such health benefits as living longer lives, a healthier heart, lower blood pressure and a decreased risk of breast cancer.
Sadly, women – an estimated 33 percent – are not likely to reap those benefits due to low sexual desire. Those same women run a greater chance of divorce, with 25 percent the result of sexual discontent.
In the medical world, low desire is known as Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD). Primarily a female issue, HSDD can be caused by such things as:
- Medical significance – hormone problems
- Body image issues
- Low confidence/low self-esteem
- Unattainable expectations towards sex/intimacy
- Relationship problems
- Pain with intercourse which directly correlates to low desire.
Low desire issues are typically broken down into two distinct categories – generalized and specific.
If a person suffers from generalized low desire it presents itself as:
- Having no sexual desire across the board – meaning your partner doesn’t excite you nor does that steamy romance novel.
- Stemming from hormonal issues
- Pain problems
- Medical/biological components such as endometriosis or interstitial cystitis.
- Medications
The assumption has always been that as a person gets older they lose their desire. Research shows this isn’t always the case, but rather low desire could be attributed to aging health problems such as illness, medications or menopause.
Many hormonal concerns are greatly managed by seeing a provider who specializes in Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT).
In the case of specific low desire causes can be as follows:
- A relationship issue that is causing you to hold your desire hostage
- Body image concerns that are preventing you from being intimate or exposed with a partner
- A past sexual trauma or shameful messages about sex that are holding you back
Regardless the premise behind your low desire, find comfort that answers are available.
If you are suffering from generalized low desire, then we determine if medical treatment is needed or if sessions with a sexual therapist can get you back on track.
A medical appointment often includes a gynecological exam, hormone testing, pain assessment and nerve testing to see if orgasm is achievable or diminished. This will help us to explore and/or rule out medical issues to develop a treatment plan accordingly.
In the case of specific low desire, the condition can usually be resolved through therapy.
- In therapy we would explore your sexual timeline. We want to outline important sexual aspects of your life as an individual and in your relationships.
- We also need to determine if you have been subjected to shameful messages or have experienced a sexual trauma.
- If tackling the issue as a couple, we will address the frustrations you both may be experiencing and the likely resentment that has built up over time.
The final piece to hopefully resolving the problem is increasing communication on all levels.
If you feel your partner has low desire, attempt to talk with him/her about your concerns, how you feel about the lacking intimate lifestyle, and your support towards treatment possibilities.
You don’t need to be among the 33 percent who suffer. There are answers to your frustrations and a fulfilling sexual life can be possible.
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